Faft Kingdom

Dynasty Potato announced today that they will reacquisition the privately held ORC group after 9 years of intense watching from across the street.  Many notable RC are understandably upset with K Jeffs, and have been speaking out on the issue.  Tubbs & Tubbs & Tubbs & Tubbs.  You never got the hand balls slappy contraption for clackity girl areas.  Dynasty Potato is my new company and we buy anything that is amazing and totally not real for real!  I am planning to buy a new hair dryer because I feel my current hair drying equipment is not up to my usual standards.  A Gupplepuppy was my friend.

Went on exploratory mission Sunday afternoon to here-to-fore unvisited supermarket in neighborhood where we moving to’s in a couple of weeks -> this was an extreme event.  Sunday afternoon shopping is a like a middle-aged house-wife mosh-pit to the music of florescent lighting and overhead savings announcements.  This includes the grey-haired men wielding roman carts at high speed and casting spears.  We liked the supermarket and look forward to shopping there but someone is going to get hurt eventually because people aggressing on each other in grocery-induced adrenaline rage is an intense situation where a brawl is inevitable.  If I have to beat someone down for pushing their way through to grab sunny-d off the shelf, it can’t be helped.

Fans of Sunday evening television programs will be pleased to know that Vorax and Frank makes its season premier at 9:30pm.  This marks a return after a long hiatus, due to several cast members having multiple fractured skulls, in as many as three cities.  Charles Winpead of Sjackl Entertainment Inc. speculated on the much hyped series return.

“The actors were starving when production began in Bulgaria, and they weren’t fed for three days, but the directors and the producer knew what they were doing.  The two-hour series premier is the greatest episode yet, and perhaps the greatest episode of any show ever.  It is much better than the rest of the season but you’ll watch anyway.”

Of note, Vorax will sport a knew haircut, and Frank has a new pet kitten.  The series is expected to be canceled after only a few airings but fans are certain that a DVD will be released later.

America Shits on You is a new series hosted by Mr. Doctor Gohokibb Fhiendishead, ESQ, where random people are pulled off the streets near the studio, {{ brought on stage, humiliated, tortured, and shat on, literally, by audience members, }} many of whom are visiting this country on vacation. Sometimes the audience members will be tricked into torturing themselves. The program is sponsored by Asphyxiated Glove Corp. and produced by Gilbert Frederick Beamis, III, known for his successful comedies such as Vorax and Frank.

Forest Goblins are different than the ancient Rock Goblins which we see in our dreams.  The differences are painful, and I’d rather not discuss them.

Finality abridges all time, this moment makes no sense out of lost or dashed hopes. Marriage, rotating mind-disc carousel, overwhelming financial albatrosses! Seek HERE! A Monstrosity! The works of Schemmpe, Clown stupid. Hope! Wanderlust! Animal feedings on the prairie. I’ve been away. Whatever, etc. Let’s get down to the fugging business… but first, {{remember folks!}}, gratitude and attitude! Stop and Relax.

Just thinking about two of the most influential pieces of visual-aural insanity upon my tender meat-heart thinker! The Mighty Heroes! Diaper man was my favorite, but I was a fool. Given that, to this day i speak in baby-talk at least 50% of the time. Rope Man is incredible, and Tornado Man is just about the shit most big. Honestly, they are all incredible, and incredibly stupid and this gives me a rush of poopy! Ralph Bakshi, you bastard! Thank you! Then there is just this terrible fucking mess called Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings. God damn it. I remember it being so surreal and on the verge of fragmentation. I just browsed some stills and the whole thing is really rather well drawn and Simon himself seems to be quite healthy. It is still amazing to anyone who wishes to obviate reality - just draw your reality and jump in! Watch out for unintended insanity but love it at the same fucking time! That’s my bucket of chum. So I love Simon but I re-envisioned it in my mind after so many years climbing vast lost plateaus. Simon had become this pulsating vibration of moving chalk line on scratched out black element moving through dream-ether never coming up to breathe. Both are exciting. Then we can start getting pissed off about Paddington Bear if we want. He was like a forgotten sick uncle living in an attic room and attended, and seen, only by a devoted and silent relative. The kind of dreams where i used to have about my dead father - suddenly remember he was still alive and had been in his bedroom for years just laying there drinking ginger ale and coming in and out of reality. Paddington Bear, while lovable, is a like a coma. We want to forget we know Paddington because he is so pointless and does absolutely nothing. I adore him though for this reason because i constantly wish I was standing in my rain slicker watching life come down instead of sitting behind my machine in the cubicle mind-box. “They” used to show this scrunchy fuck on my favorite after school program, Romper Room! When I wasn’t dosing myself with the thick depression syrup of ABC’s after school special, like the one where the schizophrenic boy deals most intimately with organges, then I was watching Romper Room and god damn Do Bee. Picture Page was Bill Cosby’s triumphant moment. His career arc’d and began to descend at this point. Though many will argue, few will win. I can’t think of Do Bee without thinking of the magical acid pen that Cosby got down with when teaching us re-educational mindlessness. Just going on this trip can make me want a Time-Cube Clock. I can’t remember anything that happened on Picture Page except the sound of that mystical bee-wand. I think it was like the soft-music station version of Clock-Work Orange re-educational films. I was always MORE ALIVE after watching Picture Page. Why so many oranges? Probably because King Farris had an incredible point about his shirt being orange. No one listened, only a few remember, and only two know the secret inside his message. Here’s some more fat dope on Cosby. Leonard Part 6 and Ghost Dad are two incredible films! It drives me crazy that people will disparage these works. It bothers me even more that Cosby himself sunk so low as to disparage LP6! Such cowardly groveling! I’m not even suggesting these films are good to get fucked up to. I’m saying they are truly mind-boggling awesomely inspired enjoyable entertainment. What is wrong with people? Are you afraid someone is going to come and cut your dick off? Strangers give each other a hand job over how great last-night’s syndicated episode of Friends was; Little boys with highly-stylized haircuts beat up other hyper-sexualized children because they aren’t deeply familiar with the Approved-For-Today cheap anime program with collectible card products. Most people won’t even choose to vote for the elected leader of their crumbling countries, but HELL NO! Not Leonard Part 6! Not Ghost Dad! All I have to say is “Possums in Piedmont!”. Why is this happening??? Probably because although Charlie Chaplin and Franz Kafka’s lives overlapped, they were the result of the rebirth of each other. Buster Keaton ate Harpo Marx whole and regurgitated Groucho’s mustache grease. This was put into a hidden chamber for future use and only I have the map… or a portion of it anyway! Oh yeah, then I have to tell you the story of how “Relax. You’ll Survive” became my mantra after a parking-lot incident where I was a complete asshole!

The Mr. Magoo universe is a horrific nightmare world of tension and confusion - I have literally had this nightmare innumerable times in my life. He is not a whimsical bumbling man so much as he is the embodiment of helpless confusion - complete lose of control and ability to reason clearly. The Magoo universe spins around him in chaotic shapes, blurs of neutral colors, and inane random sounds. Anxiety sings off the tightly wound string of tension which runs through every second of a Magoo cartoon. If one probes deeply enough, it becomes apparent that no joy, even intellectual, can be derived from a Magoo experience. Only pain and transformative regression of mind, soul, and character. It is equivalent to illegal military torture techniques in the guise of whimsical, inane entertainment.

On the other hand, the much maligned Gilligan’s Island is a pure fantasy representing the shimmering confounding world where randomness merges with comic genius. The old argument is that is becomes frustrating for the viewer to watch as they repeated fail to leave the island, but I now present to you the thinly veiled secret of Gilligan’s Island that makes me love it so much. They don’t want to leave the island. Duh! Let’s take a look into this speculation.

Gilligan and the Skipper have essentially nothing going on for them in civilization. They share a passion for maritime of ‘yore, but are a resigned to take pathetic tourists out for quick tours, make some cash, and then spend another night throwing darts and drinking beer at Anna’s (my favorite Honolulu bar.) The Island represents both adventure and escape from the mundane. The Professor is an average a academic with higher asperations. Reduced to teaching 5 courses a semester for uninterested students, his life lacks meaning. On the Island, however, he is the greatest thinker and the most knowledgable. He is free to research and develop whatever technology pleases him and constantly challanged by the limited resources. How could he go back?  Marie Ann lived in a small community of likely ordinary boring people with little to do but work.  The Island is almost indistinguishable from her home life except that the population is undoubtedly more interesting.  In fact, back in her country home, she no doubt pined away for an exciting life.  Ginger is a aging beauty queen who no longer has to age before society, star in b-movies as she fades without dignity into nothingness.  On the Island, she remains the most beautiful, glamorous star, around people who do not care about her celebrity but accept her unconditionally.  Mr. and Mrs. Howell too have lived under intense pressure and scrutiny.  They’re rich but everyone around they is vying for their money.  On the Island, they remain the richest, most affluent and cultured people, but escape the trappings of money.  Thurston’s teddy bear symbolizes his desire to return to simpler times but greed and propriety had kept him from being at peace, until they are stranded on the Island.  They can flaunt their money for fun but it isn’t a big deal.

In short, in their small world, each one of them is the best at what they do, rather merely than a stereotype, fulfilling a need for the group and satisfying their own self esteem.  They are loved unconditionally and live in luxury.  If any one of them were stranded alone, they would desperately seek return to civilization, but the juxtaposition of their talents and circumstances has created a utopia unadulterated and fantastical - a dream come true.

Yes, last Sunday afternoon, whilst attempting to Geocache, we came across a group of urban youth juveniles who had a girl tied up with laundry cord. We were in the woods.

Two cars with trunks popped open and a gas can on the ground near the victim and they were throwing rocks or some other stuff at her head.

On our way in to this odd star-trek-like lonely universe an old creepy couple drove from out of nowhere up to us and rolled the driver’s side window down “Are you lost?” “No.” “Are you lost?” The old man had this look of sarcastic knowing -

{ it was a warning and a trap. }

They drove off smug and sinister.

We followed the degrees, minutes, and seconds of the GPS device around a man-made lake filled with cedar water only three-four feet deep. That is when we came upon the incident.

We calmly turned around to jettison, walking briskly back toward the car which seemed very far away. I was certain that one bullet would pierce my skull and that I’d take another in my shoulder blade as we struggled against time to get to the Honda and escape. We got into the car and drove off. 911.

March 32nd, 2009 Harvest Tempest Galacton Underground Cave System Inc. is proud to sponsor this year’s 82nd Cs-Molcolm Food Drive to support Nov 5th’s Big Annual First Event Episode 10 of Ancient Father Gatherer Society This Year’s Gathering.

It is believed that today the children of tomorrow are lacking in Father relations with a strong upmark in downswing feeling trend to describes the expression faces sad mostly in children under 9 - 15.

{ Many of these children, they shit their pants. }

Ancient Fathers however has access to nothing and lived mainly with their balls against the balls of their fathers and their children’s fathers. They wore dirty naked outfits and hunted all day with their sons and sometimes they ate raw flesh huddled together breathing blood. The bond they shared was impressive even to them and today cannot be replicated without strong time in therapy and long heavy 14 step program association.

The heavy metal concert will mark the first time anyone has celebrated Ancient Father Gatherer Society Gathering.

2007 Ends with the keynote speaker’s address before 7,018 ticket-holders at the venerable Oopchon Head Center (OCHCC)

Astounded onlookers gasped with jaws totally alligatored to the underparts as explanation taken place in front them cause jammies all zozy pantings.

Experts claim this month alone 788,013TB Turtles will be converted which was one of the issues taken up by Pontalahloon.