i am wanna kiss the chunks of lotto vomit
can you help me?
i want to LUCKY sucker
i want long
i gonna graspping the all numbers plus one number
is it a forecast? am i to winning?
get me flash pot
Archive for the ‘conspiracy’ Category
spitting lotto chunks
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009toochin s’lammy
Monday, March 9th, 2009rick van warren called yesterday… a problem with the constant constipation machine. Deeply hurt feelings. Won’t comply. Machine on edge, hexx suicide.
i gave my best guess told rick get statue of hula girl. told rick make pogo call. ask phogo to call pogo as well.
inside granny-cave, listening to music, interrupted. abrupt.
turns out rick sent gloogop to find me. wanted $12 for pizza we ordered last month. i sent gloogop back with $12. asked for and received receipt.
rick van warren called again, asking about perpetual poop blocker, and emotional traumas. said samosas weren’t helping. again offered same opinion.
turns out rick has broken phone, only talks into it, can’t hear anything – doesn’t know who he is dialing, just hits buttons hard and starts talking.
Magoo’s Island
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007The Mr. Magoo universe is a horrific nightmare world of tension and confusion – I have literally had this nightmare innumerable times in my life. He is not a whimsical bumbling man so much as he is the embodiment of helpless confusion – complete lose of control and ability to reason clearly. The Magoo universe spins around him in chaotic shapes, blurs of neutral colors, and inane random sounds. Anxiety sings off the tightly wound string of tension which runs through every second of a Magoo cartoon. If one probes deeply enough, it becomes apparent that no joy, even intellectual, can be derived from a Magoo experience. Only pain and transformative regression of mind, soul, and character. It is equivalent to illegal military torture techniques in the guise of whimsical, inane entertainment.
On the other hand, the much maligned Gilligan’s Island is a pure fantasy representing the shimmering confounding world where randomness merges with comic genius. The old argument is that is becomes frustrating for the viewer to watch as they repeated fail to leave the island, but I now present to you the thinly veiled secret of Gilligan’s Island that makes me love it so much. They don’t want to leave the island. Duh! Let’s take a look into this speculation.
Gilligan and the Skipper have essentially nothing going on for them in civilization. They share a passion for maritime of ‘yore, but are a resigned to take pathetic tourists out for quick tours, make some cash, and then spend another night throwing darts and drinking beer at Anna’s (my favorite Honolulu bar.) The Island represents both adventure and escape from the mundane. The Professor is an average a academic with higher asperations. Reduced to teaching 5 courses a semester for uninterested students, his life lacks meaning. On the Island, however, he is the greatest thinker and the most knowledgable. He is free to research and develop whatever technology pleases him and constantly challanged by the limited resources. How could he go back? Marie Ann lived in a small community of likely ordinary boring people with little to do but work. The Island is almost indistinguishable from her home life except that the population is undoubtedly more interesting. In fact, back in her country home, she no doubt pined away for an exciting life. Ginger is a aging beauty queen who no longer has to age before society, star in b-movies as she fades without dignity into nothingness. On the Island, she remains the most beautiful, glamorous star, around people who do not care about her celebrity but accept her unconditionally. Mr. and Mrs. Howell too have lived under intense pressure and scrutiny. They’re rich but everyone around they is vying for their money. On the Island, they remain the richest, most affluent and cultured people, but escape the trappings of money. Thurston’s teddy bear symbolizes his desire to return to simpler times but greed and propriety had kept him from being at peace, until they are stranded on the Island. They can flaunt their money for fun but it isn’t a big deal.
In short, in their small world, each one of them is the best at what they do, rather merely than a stereotype, fulfilling a need for the group and satisfying their own self esteem. They are loved unconditionally and live in luxury. If any one of them were stranded alone, they would desperately seek return to civilization, but the juxtaposition of their talents and circumstances has created a utopia unadulterated and fantastical – a dream come true.
Last Sunday Girl Tied Up In the Forest
Friday, October 26th, 2007Yes, last Sunday afternoon, whilst attempting to Geocache, we came across a group of urban youth juveniles who had a girl tied up with laundry cord. We were in the woods.
Two cars with trunks popped open and a gas can on the ground near the victim and they were throwing rocks or some other stuff at her head.
On our way in to this odd star-trek-like lonely universe an old creepy couple drove from out of nowhere up to us and rolled the driver’s side window down “Are you lost?” “No.” “Are you lost?” The old man had this look of sarcastic knowing -
{ it was a warning and a trap. }
They drove off smug and sinister.
We followed the degrees, minutes, and seconds of the GPS device around a man-made lake filled with cedar water only three-four feet deep. That is when we came upon the incident.
We calmly turned around to jettison, walking briskly back toward the car which seemed very far away. I was certain that one bullet would pierce my skull and that I’d take another in my shoulder blade as we struggled against time to get to the Honda and escape. We got into the car and drove off. 911.
Ancient Father Gatherer Society to Gather
Friday, October 26th, 2007March 32nd, 2009 Harvest Tempest Galacton Underground Cave System Inc. is proud to sponsor this year’s 82nd Cs-Molcolm Food Drive to support Nov 5th’s Big Annual First Event Episode 10 of Ancient Father Gatherer Society This Year’s Gathering.
It is believed that today the children of tomorrow are lacking in Father relations with a strong upmark in downswing feeling trend to describes the expression faces sad mostly in children under 9 – 15.
{ Many of these children, they shit their pants. }
Ancient Fathers however has access to nothing and lived mainly with their balls against the balls of their fathers and their children’s fathers. They wore dirty naked outfits and hunted all day with their sons and sometimes they ate raw flesh huddled together breathing blood. The bond they shared was impressive even to them and today cannot be replicated without strong time in therapy and long heavy 14 step program association.
The heavy metal concert will mark the first time anyone has celebrated Ancient Father Gatherer Society Gathering.
Mustache to Man Ratio in the Workplace
Tuesday, October 16th, 2007Over the last few months at my new job, I have noticed a startling fact which has recently passed intriguing and is now truly suspicious. This is the extremely high mustache-to-man ratio.
Long a hallmark of the underground homosexual militia, a ratio such as this would ordinarily be easily dismissed as simple man-on-man rabble-rousing. But I have uncovered secret documents which were intended to be shredded which point toward a more sinister explanation.
It seems that everything can be traced back to a deal to exchange large quantitites of frozen blueberry waffles for adult-sized footy-pajamas. Yes, the long-hailed, much maligned, and desperately sought-after – ASFP.
ASFP, though widely believed to exist, has never been officially confirmed as a legitimate government project. In fact, the government has aggressively denied the existence of any such projects. However, we can clearly see that if a covert exchange is in fact taking place, then, logically, it follows that the ASFP must exist.
It is most probable that ASFP are being deployed in many of the most comfortable military and domestic zones. I am bringing a case of Egos to work tomorrow and I’m just going to hang out nonchalantly by the break room.